GWARDavid Booth

GWAR perform live at London Music Hall.

Interplanetary warriors Gwar graced the mere mortals at London Music Hall on March 12, 2024. Hailing from the planet Scumdoggia, which according to my sources is located somewhere in Richmond Virginia, the band brought the riffs, the humor, the horror, and hopefully a large number of mops, along with openers X Cops and the Cancer Bats.

Gwar has been messiest band in the business since they started in 1984.  The musicians wear massive foam costumes when playing, complete with foam dicks and long hanging ball sacks.  Fans of Gwar affectionately remember the visit to the Jerry Springer show, making all other guests seem boring and classy in comparison.  Jerry Springer was eaten by the world maggot, an insane open-mouthed monster that consumed all goodness and joy in its area.  The World Maggot also has similar qualities, so it was a match made in Scumdoggia.

As always Gwar puts on a killer show.  So, let’s take a minute and talk about the bloody good show. The first band out was X-Cops, who are, in fact the members of Gwar dressed as former police.  This is where Beefcake The Mighty gets to be pork for a little while. X cops are a bit dry compared to Gwar.  By that I don’t mean that their humor is more deadpan.  They just have less fluids present.  They put on a great show, and predictably was a very suitable opener for themselves.

The second band on the bill was the Cancer Bats, a hardcore power trio from Toronto with some hometown London roots.  If you’re looking for energy, this band has it in spades.  The singer, Liam Cormier, runs the stage like a kid wired on sugar, caffeine and red food dye.  This could be related to the Gwar show.  I digress.  I could hear the crowd buzzing about looking forward to seeing the Cancer Bats open, and they did not disappoint.  Thanks to them, the crowd was suitably warmed up and smooshed towards the front.

As I have been alluding to, Gwar does concerts the Gwar way.  The Gwar way is large volumes of fake blood coming out of a variety of weapons, devices, and orifices.   People generally wear white to the show to really bring out the colorful experience, (that color is red).  The beginning of the night starts looking like a white party at Diddy’s house, and the end looks like a virgin sacrifice.  It’s safe to say a Gwar concert is less perilous than either of those, even with an active mosh pit.  That said, I’m a little concerned about the general health of Blothar the Berserker.  All that blood coming from his 4 penises should really demand a checkup, though I understand his reluctance. A 4 fingered prostate check does sound really uncomfortable.

I could describe the concert to you, but a picture is worth a thousand words, so I will cut this Gwarticle short and allow you to enjoy the photos in all of their blood-stained glory.

All photos by David Booth









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